Do guys really have a fear of rejection?  Myth or Fact?

Let me give you the background story first:  Some readers will remember that I had a crush on this guy and was contemplating whether or not I should ask him out.  Although many of you said that I should, I ended up chickening out and rarely saw him after that.  This guy (let’s call him “Crush”) and I do not hang out in the same social scene and barely have the same friends.  “Crush” and I ran into each other at an event about a month ago and it seemed like he was flirting with me.  Because I am shy around boys that I like, I wasn’t flirty back (my bad).  In fact, whenever I do like a guy, I tend to ignore him and do not throw any signals.  

To make up for the fact that I did not throw him any signs that I was interested, I’ve “coincidentally” showed up at some of the places that he was at. Unfortunately, I barely got a chance to talk to him or see him.  He has NO idea that I am into him but at the same time, I am frustrated that he’s not asking me out or taking ANY initiative to get to know me more.  I feel like he is attracted to me based on our prior interaction but WHY ISN’T HE DOING ANYTHING?  The only "signs" I gave are smiling and waving.  Is that not enough? 

Here is the split of opinions among my friends:

Group A:  “He’s just not that into you.  He had plenty of opportunity to get your email or phone number from someone else.  If he were really truly interested, he would have chased you.  Guys love the chase.  Although you and him rarely see each other, he could have made it so that he could see you by inviting you and your friends out to some event or something.  No move at all means he’s not interested.  Guys don’t have a fear of rejection when it comes to girls that they are interested in.”

Group B:  “It’s too early to tell being that you and him never really talk.  In fact, because you did not throw him any hints that you are interested, he’s not going to ask you out because he has no idea that you like him.  You are expecting too much if you think that he’s going to go out of his way to ask you out or put himself out there for a girl that hasn’t shown any interest in him before.  You’re going to have to drop some major hints that you are into him for him to make that first move.  Guys have a fear a rejection so they won’t ask out a girl unless they think that there is a shot that she’s interested.”

So which is it?  SO CONFUSED.   Right now, I am agreeing with Group A and am 85% DONE with this guy.  WTF.  There is NO way that I am putting myself out there for a guy that may not be interested in me and hasn't made any real effort to get to know me.  Shouldn’t guys be the ones putting themselves out there first? 

Do guys really have a fear of rejection or is that an excuse to justify them not asking out a girl?  Because I definitely have a fear of rejection but damnit, I’m a chick!  Isn’t it different when you’re a dude?

Sigh. 

Edit - I never acted repulsed by my Crush...I did smile and wave when we saw each other...I just never acted "flirty" to him.  Did I not do enough??  I did always say HI when I saw him...?  Do chicks always have to act flirty for the guy to take initiative?  Grrr.  Flirty is not me. 

UPDATE- Thanks for all your responses!!  Very interesting.  But just to clarify, I don't act mean or repulsed. I always "coincidentally" show up to where he's at (isn't that a signal?) AND what bugs me is that he could come out to an event that I will be at but never does.  I HOPE that Group B is right but because the Crush hasn't made an effort to get to know me more, I am still thinking (sadly) that Group A might be right.  I hope most of you guys are right though.  He hasn't given me enough to work with either.  I am scared of rejection too!!  The truth is, he COULD have made an effort to at least TALK to me and he hasn't really except for that one time.  Grrrrrrr.  SomeKoreanChick is not happy   Like the late great Aaliyah said, "TRY AGAIN." 

Personally, I think that this is a sick track.  Been hearing it at the clubs and on the hip hop station here in Los Angeles.  What do you think?  Hot or not?

Been meaning to update this site.  Lots of drama going on in my personal life that I haven't had time.  Hope everyone is doing well.  I will update as soon as I get a chance.

Edit - yeah I see that generally, we all think it's hot.  request this shit to your radio station! I love these guys because they are not only talented but also defy the stereotypes of what mainstream america thinks an asian american male is. 

This entry is for all you movie fans.... what do you think?

I went on www.angryasianman.com today (great site by the way - a big shout out to the blogger on that) and he linked a blog entry from Complex entitled "When Hollywood Rips Off South Korea," (link at the bottom) which details all the Korean movies that have been remade or will be remade by Hollywood (and let's not forget THE DEPARTED, originally a Hong Kong film and THE RING and THE GRUDGE, both Japanese films). 

And it was announced in the Variety a few days ago that Will Smith and Steven Spielberg are teaming up to remake South Korean movie OLDBOY. 

Oh yeah, and let's not forget how NBC just bought the remake rights to South Korean drama My Name Is Kim Sam Soon.  A lot of Koreans or Asians get very frustrated when Hollywood remakes classics or hits that were culturally significant to the motherland.  I still remember how annoyed my best friend was when they remade My Sassy Girl.  She rightifully predicted that it would flop because this particular film had too many cultural elements to it and that "Hollywood is going to fuck it and strip the value of the original."

Do you guys agree with that assessment or are Koreans/Asians being too possessive? 

I work in Hollywood and so I am torn about how I feel on this.  On the one hand, I understand the possessive/annoyed angle.  When I first hear about how these films that I adored are being remade, my initial reaction is disbelief and doubt.  "No way will they capture what the original had," is what I usually say or think.  Then, I get irritated when my non-Asian colleagues (i.e.white and NO, I am not a racist, I'm just saying) challenge my belief and think that the Hollywood version will be better (lol talk about arrogance - they've never even seen the originals). 

On the other hand, there's a part of me that's proud that a film which originated from Korea (or Asia) would be deemed as so great that it's remake-worthy.  I also understand that Hollywood is a place that values money more than anything:  if the formula worked and there's a built in audience for it, the risk of investing large sums of money to make a movie seems less daunting.

Morever, I hate how some people ignorantly think that South Korea is the same country that it was in the 1950s. 

People, let me tell you, I go to Korea every year and that country is a lot more advanced than the US is in technology and fashion.  Seoul is also the real city that never sleeps. 

You can literally go shopping at 2 AM and still find tons of people out shopping and eating (yes folks, at 2 AM). 

I remember two years ago, I got back from my summer in Seoul and my coworker asked me if they had internet there.  After my jaw dropped and after I proceeded to laugh at him, I then informed him that South Korea is actually one of the most wired, if not MOST wired, nation in the world.  Like, seriously? 

So yeah, I am torn about how Hollywood has been molesting some of the films and art that originate there.  Yeah, the remakes won't do the original justice and/or it will seem like the original wasn't as good based on how the remake turned out BUT on the other hand, it's helping to change the perception of Korea, no?  Meaning, it shows how far we've come as a nation in technology, the arts, in everything from the times of war.

Here is the link to the Complex entry:  http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/11/10/when-hollywood-rips-off-south-korea/

PS:  Thanks for all the replies to my last entry (and all my entries).  I love reading your comments and learn from a lot of them.

EDIT:  New readers can go back and read my previous entry on how Hollywood portrays minorities negatively.  I think part of the reason people are possessive is because they rarely credit the originals or mention the originals when the remakes are made (like most people do not know The Departed or The Ring were originally Asian films) AND because Asian films are the only media where we are portrayed with some humanity and complexity.  It's also the fact that Asian Americans are rarely cast in good roles here in hollywood.  These things all influence the irritation factor when hollywood does remake asian films.  My additional two cents.